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SR. CAROLYN -MY VOCATION I was born on March 7,1950, I come from New York City, from the Lower Eastside in Manhattan. When I was 12, someone had asked me if I would become a nun like my sister. Of course I answered "I, No, Never, I want nothing to do with that idea". Little did I know that at 18, I would start on the road of contemplating my vocation. At the age of 18, I went to my mother and said I want to become a nun. My mother said I should wait. I should go out to work awhile and if I still wish to be a nun, she will give me her blessings. Then we both would tell my father. Yes, I did have a great fear of telling my father. At that time my sister was planning to leave the convent.
In 1973, 5 years later at the age of 23, I felt I had to do something with my life. Yet I felt I did not want to make that "lifetime commitment", only "part time". So I thought I'll try to enlist in the Navy reserves, but I failed their test by only a few points, but that didn't stop me. I than tried the Army, Marines and the same thing happened, they would not accept me. I am a very stubborn person and when I get an idea to do something I try in every way to do it. So I decided to write to the President, Senators of different states, and also Governors. They could not help me but they did try. After I understood why it didn't workout. I was thinking more of what "I wanted to do" and not what "God wanted me to do". God knew how stubborn I was; yet he never gave up on me. He kept trying. At this time of my life was an emotional time for me. My brother and father had gotten sick and I felt I had to stay home to help in someway. So I continue to work and the years just passed by. In 1983 I started again thinking about a religious vocation. After working in an office for 16 years I finally realized that God was trying to lead me somewhere but at the time did not know where and I was at that point in my life that I had to follow that call. After telling my sister of my intentions and with her encouraging words of "Carolyn go and do what you feel God is calling you to do", I made the decision to accept God’s call. I now had to decide which community I would enter. I had decided to enter the Salisian order because my sister worked for that community; she was a lay teacher for many years in on of their schools. However the Salisian order would not accept me, because I was too old. I was 33 and they accepted only up to age 30, with no exceptions. I felt a little discouraged but than decided that God was calling me somewhere else. I also understood that the Salisian order would not have been right for me. They were only to help me think about my vocation. So now I decided to write to 25 communities and when I received all the brochures I stayed up late one evening looking at each one of them. I made piles of Yes, No or Maybe. Finally while looking at the Yes piles I kept stopping at the brochure for the Vocationist Sisters. I noticed an important line, which said, "The only requirement to join is the will to served God". I knew that I had a strong will and I knew that I wanted to serve God so that evening I said "Yes, Lord" I will be a Vocationist. After visiting with the sisters for the first time on Friday after Thanksgiving in 1983, I decided that this was the community that I would join. I went on weekends and spent some time with them so that I can get to know their life and they can also get to know me. I finally decided that I would enter the community. Easter Sunday April 4, 1984 at the age of 34 I entered the Vocationist Sisters Congregation, as a postulant. I made my first vows on August 24, 1986. My name became Sr. M Carolyn of the Blessed Trinity (Guyders) My life had many twist and turns, many ups and downs but now I feel I am heading in the right direction. Yes, I started to have that sense of peacefulness on that day I said Yes! On August 2, 1992 I made my perpetual vows. I made my vows for life and knew I would never turn back. I had only one wish that my parents would have been there when I made my vows. I had prayed often for this. The night before I made my perpetual vows I had a dream. To me it was gift. I dreamt that when I finished pronouncing my vows I turned around and I saw my parents in the first row in front of me. They stood smiling and started clapping for me. This was the best gift that I received. Now I feel I only want to follow always that true love, which is God, and help bring others to him. To help others know their vocation and to help them to love Our Lord who loves us very much. I feel wherever he wants to lead me I will go. As our founder wrote so well and I use this always as my motto: "Those who are called by a great love, will follow that love". Yes, I am trying to follow that love and I will never stop, never. Now it is June 7, 2005 and 21 years has passed since my entrance as a postulant and I have been contemplating about my vocation. I have gone through many different paths in my life as postulant, novice, first profession and perpetual vow sister, I have had many ups and downs, but I can truly say that I am still happy and looking forward to many more years as a sister, if God wills this. I resolve each day to always try to do better and live my life as a true religious, I have my faults and defects but I do feel I am trying to live the life God has called me to live. I feel I have grown but still need to grow. For as each day passes by, it is a new experience and a new chance for growth. I have to keep moving and never stop until I reach that ultimate goal which is to bring others and myself to that universal sanctification and for all of us to be saints. Our Founder said often to those he met Fatti Santo! ( Be a Saint). |
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Vocationist Fathers |